How to Help Children Who Are Fussy Eaters

Tips for reducing fussy eating from Emma Jones - Dietitian

Mealtimes with children and toddlers are often messy but do not need to be frustrating or a cause for stress amongst parents. Children are excellent at self-regulating their hunger and satiety if it is not perturbed. Think of babies opening their mouths, sucking their thumbs, crying and fussing, waking and signalling their need for nutrition. Similarly, babies seal their mouths shut, turn away from food, become distracted, spit out food/fluid when they are full. This all shows that from birth they are born with the ability to regulate their intake and express their hunger and satiety.

In regards to providing food to our children as parents it is our job to decide WHAT, WHEN and WHERE and our child is responsible for HOW MUCH and WHETHER they eat. This is known as ‘The Division of Responsibility’ with the aim that our children remain capable eaters. 

Some tips to help your child be an independent capable eater include:

  • Embrace the mess: the more a child can touch and feel food in their hands, the more likely they are to eventually eat it in their mouths. This supports their sensory system and ability to eat all textures.

  • Keep language positive: sometimes we can make things worse when we talk about our child’s eating habits negatively around them. Toddlers and kids pick up on these labels and tend to live by them. For example, try replacing: 

    • ‘He is so picky, he only eats a few foods’ with ‘we are learning about new foods together’

    • ‘Apples are good for you’ with ‘red foods give you a strong heart’ 

    • ‘Finish your plate’ with ‘is your tummy full?’

  • Mealtime structure: when kids eat a lot of times throughout the day or ‘graze’ it can lead to them either eating too much or not enough for their body. It makes it harder for them to listen to when they are hungry and full. Eating on a schedule leads to better eating and less fussy or picky eating habits.  Set aside 20-30 minutes for main meals and 10-20 minutes for snacks with sufficient time in between to develop an appetite for the next meal. Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. 

  • Family meals: they will want your food if they see you eating food they don’t have! Family meals are easier, cheaper, and helps your child learn to eat a greater variety of food in the long run. Family meals allow parents to be good role models eating healthily, increases family connection and helps the child also develop important social skills when eating with others.  

  • Exposure: it can take 20+ exposures of a new food for a baby or toddler to actually eat it.  They might touch it, smell it, lick it, spit it out all before eventually eating it. Tolerating the food on their plate is even progress!

  • Offer some choices around mealtimes: which plate? Which colour bowl? Let them plate their own food from the middle of the table or give two simple choices such as two different kinds of fruit to choose from. This gives them a sense of control in the experience and encourages their independence.  

These are just some of the ways to help your child have a nourishing intake of food and reduce the risk of fussy eating behaviours and mealtime struggles. Relax at mealtimes and look at the big picture – their intake over a week versus a single day. If your child is growing and developing they are eating enough!